Let me get right to the point. If you’re going through a difficult time, and you’re tired of feeling depressed, or fearful, you can shift it into a good experience. You are the Author of your life, and you can control your thoughts. Your thoughts directly affect your emotions, so if you’re a mindful person who has done a lot of work with meditation, or through learning to create your reality by how you think, this should be easy enough for you. If you’re someone who has no clue about any of these applications, then I suggest beginning with the book that changed the entire course of my life. ‘The Power of NOW,’ by Eckhardt Tolle. Just go get it. Read it. Soak it up.
In 2007, after a devastating break up, I was desperately trying to find my way. I was also a former Christian still trying to make sense of the Bible while applying the texts and lessons to my life. ‘The Power of NOW’ sent me to my knees. EVERYTHING I ever read in the Bible begin making sense in a way that I no longer felt disconnected from the teachings. I began living them. The words in the book simplified the teachings of Christ, and I have not been the same since.
If you’re a friend of mine, I have a copy you can borrow, but I suggest getting your own copy to have on hand when you need a reminder. I’m not getting paid to promote this book. It literally saved my life.
With that said, here are my suggestions for moving through a difficult situation. First and foremost, you need to feel everything you’re feeling. Forget about everything you need to do, and take at least an hour, and sit with the hellish emotions. Welcome them in. Invite them into your experience like they are a guest in your home for a time. Let any anger or sadness know that they are temporary guests, but for now… they are welcome to hang out. Go through the pain. Let it suffocate you. Find gratitude around the fact that you can actually feel. Feeling is INCREDIBLE. It means your ALIVE. If it’s anger you’re dealing with, even better. Let the beast maul your being for as long as it needs to. If it comes in waves – great. Let it arise, and allow it to fall. This is KEY if you’re going to get through anything emotional.
We tend to distract ourselves, drown out our emotions, or to ignore them while going through the motions of our lives. The problem with this, is that you will never heal if you don’t allow yourself to FEEL. You will continue attracting situations that bring up the same emotions until you actually experience your emotional body. This is completely backwards from what we’ve been taught, but it is the truth. Once you give attention to what is going on inside of you, physical reality will literally shift to reflect your healing. I swear to Goddess. It is the weirdest sh*t if you have never had this experience. This life experience is an inside journey, not an outside journey. The outside reflects our insides. Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of people into your life? It’s because you haven’t taken the time to move through the emotions that these people evoke. When people bring up emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy, etc., they are your cosmic mirror reflecting what you need to see in yourself in order for you to heal and become whole again.
Do not get this confused with toxic human beings who bring up negative emotions. That is a whole different animal. I suggest not being around toxic people at all. They will suck your energy and send you on a downward spiral emotionally, and this doesn’t necessarily mean that you have toxicity inside of yourself to work on. So, please don’t be confused about this. Toxic people need to GO! But if you seem to attract toxic people, then it is a good indication that you may be navigating from a victim space, instead of operating as a victor along your life path, so that’s something to be aware of as well.
Ok, so you took the time to sit with your emotions, and you may have had an experience where you feel an alchemical shift inside of your body. For example – one time I sat with my rage for about three days straight, and on the third day, it alchemized inside of my gut into joy. This is because emotions are like a color spectrum. Joy and anger are two sides of the same coin. If you sit with your emotions long enough, they will shift, or they will get tired of you shining a light on them, and they will eventually move through you until there is an open space of love and joy. From darkness, to light.
Once you feel like you’ve done the work with your emotional body, it’s time to work on your thoughts. Pay attention to your thoughts without judgement, like you’re watching a film from a distance. Don’t buy into them. Especially don’t buy into your fear. Let all the thoughts pass like a moving train. Even if they recycle (which they will) – just keep allowing them to pass, while you move about your day doing whatever you need to do. If you have time to nurture yourself, I highly suggest doing that. Eat healthy, exercise, and spend time with friends and family who are uplifting. If you work full time, you can do this practice at your desk. You can also sit with your emotions at work. Take a walk if you can. Take a long walk in nature, and reconnect to the world around you. The worst thing we can do when we’re going through a difficult time, is to isolate ourselves. I used to do that, and I no longer do it because it just brings on more depression. Being alone in nature can be extremely healing. Or maybe you enjoy shopping more than you enjoy nature. Whatever helps you feel connected.
Finally, you need to have a vision for where you want your life to be, no matter how bad things are right now. You need to see yourself at your highest potential. You need to imagine yourself surrounded by people who are healthy, loving, fun, and on the path of self-awareness. If you have goals, it’s time to visualize yourself meeting those goals. Write down where you want to be, what you long to have, and the kind of partner who would enhance your life experience. Everything that makes you feel excited inside, is where you want to place your attention now. This is so important for moving from depression into joy. Be like a child and picture everything that makes you happy without any doubt, or without allowing negative thoughts to distort your vision. Don’t be afraid to shoot for the stars. Whatever makes you feel incredibly happy, is GOOD. Just go there and keep going to that space until you feel like you shifted from a bad situation, into JOY. NOTE: It is important to carry gratitude with you at all times. Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations we can embody. Sometimes we focus on what we lack, instead of being grateful for all that we have. We need to remember to be grateful. The universe gives us more of what we focus on, so if you focus on lack… guess what?
Finally – now it’s time to move in the direction of your goals and dreams. Make it happen by letting go of everything that doesn’t add up to where you want to be. You don’t need to let go of everything over night, but make small shifts everyday. Take time daily to work toward your life goals. Don’t stop having that vision for your life. Keeping that vision in mind, will shift your attitude so quickly, even if you don’t see yourself getting there for a long time. If you can’t physically make things happen for yourself yet, keep writing them down, create a vision board, clear your thoughts to make room for that vision, and speak in the NOW, as if you are already living that life. You can manifest anything when you already know you have it.
Another side note: I have a tendency to believe that I am supposed to dwell in the emotions caused by my bad decisions because it is irresponsible not to, and I have an old belief that if I don’t think about the bad things that could happen, I’m being irresponsible. Bullshit. Don’t buy into that. That’s old paradigm thinking. Let that go. There are no rules. We are the Authors of our life experience. You don’t “deserve” to suffer. At all. (Unless you’re a really awful person who hurts other people, or animals. In that case – suffer away, sucker.)
I’m going through a difficult situation now. It’s been over a week. I was so uncomfortable that I wanted out of my skin, but I decided to write a poem about my feelings instead. Afterward, I cried, and then the rest of the day, I felt much lighter. Channeling our pain through art is another way to move through it quickly. The next day, I sat with my sorrow, and allowed it to consume me. The third day, I reached out to friends – and friends just happened to reach out to me without even knowing what was going on with me. I don’t know how it happens, but when we consciously choose healing over suffering, the universe opens up for us and gives us everything we need to heal.
Trust in the flow of your life. Your body and soul (just like nature) is constantly in a state of re-balancing itself. It’s up to you to become aware of it, and to flow with it, instead of against it.