A Silent World Within an Obvious One

Silent World

When people enter my canopy to receive a Tarot reading, they are generally asking for understanding or direction that they are unable to see.  Through images and symbols, the cards reveal an energetic realm of reality beyond the obvious one.  It never ceases to amaze me how children are drawn to my tent.  They are the seers of the quiet reality of imagination, play, spirit, and the richness of presence that we have forgotten as adults because we are so caught up in the dramas of physical reality.  Children navigate with unadulterated intuition, and they feel the energetic difference of my Tarot space, which is why they stop and ask me (or their parents) what I’m doing, and often want a reading.

As Adults, demanded to play the game of physical reality, we lose our insight, which is why connecting with children is a bridge to our soul, and the Tarot is a wonderful tool to reveal that which we cannot see.  The symbols and poetry that derive from a spread is a reminder to feel our way through life and to recall the big picture, or the spiritual picture of our lives, which is the quiet influence beyond our day-to-day happenings.

I just spent a year of my life unfortunately being caught up in the messy dynamics of physical reality.  What brought it on was being slammed into grief after my mother’s passing.  For my entire life, I’ve been aware of the big picture beyond the details of daily dramas, and I’ve generally held a graceful position in messy situations knowing that I can move energy by taking a stance beyond the obvious plights.  For example, in the dynamics of competition and jealousy, I was able to maintain my wholeness, and avoid getting caught up into the web of dramas.  By me knowing who I am, and not feeding into people’s (or my own) insecurities, I have observed messy situations either dissipate quickly, or witnessed them expand into something beautiful, and nonconforming to common outcomes.

Throughout my life I’ve often assisted people in seeing the bigger picture without the use of Tarot cards, and made it my own practice to see beyond the obvious in order to manipulate (which isn’t the best word to use here) heavy energy into something lighter and more fluid, resulting in magical results.  So when my mom passed away, and I felt physical reality clamp down on me like the jaws of a wretched beast, my spiritual knowing went out the window.  Stuck within the confining labyrinth of my mind, I was unable to maintain my ability to see past the obvious.  It’s like a steel wall came between me and my power to reach for the quiet world beyond this one.  I was haunted within the walls of my own limited thinking, and it’s taken me nearly two years to get beyond it.

I can see again now, which is relieving (to say the very least), but I’m still ashamed of the way I handled my life during that heavy time.  It was tormenting to believe in my fears so fiercely that I behaved from that limited space, which was damaging and terribly draining.  I literally lost myself.  To be back in my wholeness again, after such a dreadful hiatus, is very grounding.  Plus there were lessons learned, and old traumas I faced, so it wasn’t an experience of complete failure.  It actually reminded me of my own humanness, which a humble experience of understanding that I’m not beyond this world.  I’m right up in it… and thank Goddess.  I wouldn’t want to be here without contrast and darkness for my own personal growth.  There was a consciousness expansion in all of this – for sure – but it was a terribly tumultuous way to wake up, and I hope to not go through that again, because believing in the realm of physical reality without insight into the spiritual reality is like being in prison.  You’re facing time in your own mind, which is hell.

Even using the Tarot during that time did not assist me into the greater picture of my life.  I could read for other people, but all I saw for myself was whatever was occurring right in front of me.  The cards were one-dimensional.  I believe my own soul must have cut me off from its Source, perhaps to wake me up in a way I’ve never been able to wake up before because I was so hyper-aware of the spiritual realm.  Even in my days of drug and alcohol use, I couldn’t get away from Spirit.  I often had out of body experiences, and rich insights through dreaming that I couldn’t drown out.  Whatever this experience was where I was so disconnected, was a deliberate act on the part of my higher-self.  At least, I feel it was.  Who knows for certain?  But the bottom line is that I took the journey willingly.  I knew I was just going through something, although completely in the dark, and I drudged through it like a prisoner swimming through sewage, moving toward their freedom.

It’s important that we remind ourselves in painful situations, that we are moving forward.  Life continues on even when we feel stagnant.  No matter what I’ve been through, I’ve always come out on the other side of it with rich insight, deeper understanding, and intense emotional and spiritual growth, because I know my life here is a temporary experience where my soul is expanding and expressing itself through the limitations of this reality, so I’m always having that experience.  I know what this place represents for me, but when it feels so real that you can’t claw your way out of your fear, try to relinquish the need to be somewhere else than where you are.  Allow your fear to consume you for a while.  Express it if you have to, like I did, even though it’s not a graceful way to be, because the way out of fear is shining a light on it, rather than buying into it or resisting it.

If you ever get into this confining space that I was in, or if you feel like you have lived your life believing that physical reality is REAL, rather than knowing that it is an illusion, then there are tools for you to bring you back to Spirit.  Children are a bridge.  The Tarot is a beautiful tool.  There are spiritual guides all around us, including nature.  Tap in.  Reach out.  Recall the deeper truths of this dense space that demands you of your time and resources.  This is your life, and your opportunity to wake up to your soul journey while you are here.  Don’t get stuck in the dramas of physical reality, or you’re completely missing out on the magic of your greater existence.








You Can Choose JOY Amid Bad Circumstances (Trust Me)

Let me get right to the point.  If you’re going through a difficult time, and you’re tired of feeling depressed, or fearful, you can shift it into a good experience.  You are the Author of your life, and you can control your thoughts.  Your thoughts directly affect your emotions, so if you’re a mindful person who has done a lot of work with meditation, or through learning to create your reality by how you think, this should be easy enough for you.  If you’re someone who has no clue about any of these applications, then I suggest beginning with the book that changed the entire course of my life.  ‘The Power of NOW,’ by Eckhardt Tolle.  Just go get it.  Read it.  Soak it up.

In 2007, after a devastating break up, I was desperately trying to find my way.  I was also a former Christian still trying to make sense of the Bible while applying the texts and lessons to my life.  ‘The Power of NOW’ sent me to my knees.  EVERYTHING I ever read in the Bible begin making sense in a way that I no longer felt disconnected from the teachings.  I began living them.  The words in the book simplified the teachings of Christ, and I have not been the same since.

Power of NOw

If you’re a friend of mine, I have a copy you can borrow, but I suggest getting your own copy to have on hand when you need a reminder.  I’m not getting paid to promote this book.  It literally saved my life.

With that said, here are my suggestions for moving through a difficult situation.  First and foremost, you need to feel everything you’re feeling.  Forget about everything you need to do, and take at least an hour, and sit with the hellish emotions.  Welcome them in.  Invite them into your experience like they are a guest in your home for a time.  Let any anger or sadness know that they are temporary guests, but for now… they are welcome to hang out.  Go through the pain.  Let it suffocate you.  Find gratitude around the fact that you can actually feel.  Feeling is INCREDIBLE.  It means your ALIVE.  If it’s anger you’re dealing with, even better.  Let the beast maul your being for as long as it needs to.  If it comes in waves – great.  Let it arise, and allow it to fall.  This is KEY if you’re going to get through anything emotional.

We tend to distract ourselves, drown out our emotions, or to ignore them while going through the motions of our lives.  The problem with this, is that you will never heal if you don’t allow yourself to FEEL.  You will continue attracting situations that bring up the same emotions until you actually experience your emotional body.  This is completely backwards from what we’ve been taught, but it is the truth.  Once you give attention to what is going on inside of you, physical reality will literally shift to reflect your healing.  I swear to Goddess.  It is the weirdest sh*t if you have never had this experience.  This life experience is an inside journey, not an outside journey.  The outside reflects our insides.  Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of people into your life?  It’s because you haven’t taken the time to move through the emotions that these people evoke.  When people bring up emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy, etc., they are your cosmic mirror reflecting what you need to see in yourself in order for you to heal and become whole again.

Do not get this confused with toxic human beings who bring up negative emotions.  That is a whole different animal.  I suggest not being around toxic people at all.  They will suck your energy and send you on a downward spiral emotionally, and this doesn’t necessarily mean that you have toxicity inside of yourself to work on.  So, please don’t be confused about this.  Toxic people need to GO!  But if you seem to attract toxic people, then it is a good indication that you may be navigating from a victim space, instead of operating as a victor along your life path, so that’s something to be aware of as well.

Ok, so you took the time to sit with your emotions, and you may have had an experience where you feel an alchemical shift inside of your body.  For example – one time I sat with my rage for about three days straight, and on the third day, it alchemized inside of my gut into joy.  This is because emotions are like a color spectrum.  Joy and anger are two sides of the same coin.  If you sit with your emotions long enough, they will shift, or they will get tired of you shining a light on them, and they will eventually move through you until there is an open space of love and joy.  From darkness, to light.  

Once you feel like you’ve done the work with your emotional body, it’s time to work on your thoughts.  Pay attention to your thoughts without judgement, like you’re watching a film from a distance.  Don’t buy into them.  Especially don’t buy into your fear.  Let all the thoughts pass like a moving train.  Even if they recycle (which they will) – just keep allowing them to pass, while you move about your day doing whatever you need to do.  If you have time to nurture yourself, I highly suggest doing that.  Eat healthy, exercise, and spend time with friends and family who are uplifting.  If you work full time, you can do this practice at your desk.  You can also sit with your emotions at work.  Take a walk if you can.  Take a long walk in nature, and reconnect to the world around you.  The worst thing we can do when we’re going through a difficult time, is to isolate ourselves.  I used to do that, and I no longer do it because it just brings on more depression.  Being alone in nature can be extremely healing.  Or maybe you enjoy shopping more than you enjoy nature.  Whatever helps you feel connected.

Finally, you need to have a vision for where you want your life to be, no matter how bad things are right now.  You need to see yourself at your highest potential.  You need to imagine yourself surrounded by people who are healthy, loving, fun, and on the path of self-awareness.  If you have goals, it’s time to visualize yourself meeting those goals.  Write down where you want to be, what you long to have, and the kind of partner who would enhance your life experience.  Everything that makes you feel excited inside, is where you want to place your attention now.  This is so important for moving from depression into joy.  Be like a child and picture everything that makes you happy without any doubt, or without allowing negative thoughts to distort your vision.  Don’t be afraid to shoot for the stars.  Whatever makes you feel incredibly happy, is GOOD.  Just go there and keep going to that space until you feel like you shifted from a bad situation, into JOY.  NOTE: It is important to carry gratitude with you at all times.  Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations we can embody.  Sometimes we focus on what we lack, instead of being grateful for all that we have.  We need to remember to be grateful.  The universe gives us more of what we focus on, so if you focus on lack… guess what?

Finally – now it’s time to move in the direction of your goals and dreams.  Make it happen by letting go of everything that doesn’t add up to where you want to be.  You don’t need to let go of everything over night, but make small shifts everyday.  Take time daily to work toward your life goals.  Don’t stop having that vision for your life.  Keeping that vision in mind, will shift your attitude so quickly, even if you don’t see yourself getting there for a long time.  If you can’t physically make things happen for yourself yet, keep writing them down, create a vision board, clear your thoughts to make room for that vision, and speak in the NOW, as if you are already living that life.  You can manifest anything when you already know you have it.

Another side note:  I have a tendency to believe that I am supposed to dwell in the emotions caused by my bad decisions because it is irresponsible not to, and I have an old belief that if I don’t think about the bad things that could happen, I’m being irresponsible.  Bullshit.  Don’t buy into that.  That’s old paradigm thinking.  Let that go.  There are no rules.  We are the Authors of our life experience.  You don’t “deserve” to suffer.  At all.  (Unless you’re a really awful person who hurts other people, or animals.  In that case – suffer away, sucker.)

I’m going through a difficult situation now.  It’s been over a week.  I was so uncomfortable that I wanted out of my skin, but I decided to write a poem about my feelings instead.  Afterward, I cried, and then the rest of the day, I felt much lighter.  Channeling our pain through art is another way to move through it quickly.  The next day, I sat with my sorrow, and allowed it to consume me.  The third day, I reached out to friends – and friends just happened to reach out to me without even knowing what was going on with me.  I don’t know how it happens, but when we consciously choose healing over suffering, the universe opens up for us and gives us everything we need to heal.

Trust in the flow of your life.  Your body and soul (just like nature) is constantly in a state of re-balancing itself.  It’s up to you to become aware of it, and to flow with it, instead of against it.




The Honor of Being YOU, and to What Do You Owe Your Life

High Priestess

Sometimes we need to make the hard choices in order to live in alignment with our soul.  The choices can be terribly painful to make.  They can include being uncomfortable for a time, but to what do I owe the honor of my life?  Do I live my life to make other people happy, or do I live my life in accordance with who I truly am?  People can make it nearly impossible for us to let go of something that makes them feel secure.  They are so fearful for their impending experience of discomfort, that they’ll do everything they can to persuade you to remain in a situation that doesn’t serve you in any way.  It could be any circumstance – a boss that won’t allow you to move on.  A friend who doesn’t want you to move away.  A partner who doesn’t want to break up.  A spouse who doesn’t want you to take on more activities.  Whatever the case, people in our lives will often manipulate us to remain in situations that don’t serve us, simply because they are terrified of change.  How incredibly selfish.  We should identify this type of behavior in people, and decide not to buy into it.

Change can be difficult, but it can also be a grand opportunity to shift into our highest and best purpose.  I have made difficult changes throughout my life – some of them by choice, and some of them because the universe tossed me out of the plane just to remind me that a parachute awaits my free-fall.  There have been changes I made that were so hard, I wept for months afterward, wishing I didn’t have to make the choice, while knowing deep inside that it was the best thing for all parties involved.  The end result is always the same – MAGIC.  Although it may take a while to get there.  Remain on the path.  Don’t give up.  Trust in your life.

Some people don’t know what’s best for them, but we should know what’s best for us, and we should live accordingly.  It’s not easy to follow the path of the soul.  It can be lonely, devastating, and full of blind spots.  Most of the time – when it’s devastating – it’s because I didn’t listen to the voice of my soul to begin with, so I went ahead and made a choice that didn’t serve me from the get go.  My ego took over for a time, and then (at some point) I woke up and realized I was in a world of chaos because I wasn’t paying attention.  I can remain in a situation, and be comfortable, but also unsatisfied, or I can make the hard choice to let go, and go through a little bit of hell just to open myself back up to opportunity.  Usually those circumstances are full of learning experiences, and I take it for all it’s worth, but the consequences of not following the guidance of my soul are usually the most painful.  You would think I should have learned by now, but subconscious wounds have a way of dragging us into less than ideal situations.  It’s okay.  I practice compassion for myself.  I visualize the little girl who was once neglected, scoop her up in my arms, and offer her love that she didn’t receive when she really needed it.  That’s called, “soul healing.”  Sometimes we need to piece together the parts of ourselves that got left behind from trauma, and reconnect.  We can do this through our dreaming, or in meditation.  We can do it consciously when we find ourselves making bad decisions just to fill a void, which is usually caused from a past trauma.

When we don’t have closure in a situation, our minds want to go crazy, but we can choose to see this as an opportunity to do some serious inner work.  We can go inward and nurture ourselves, practice compassion, while identifying where we lost touch with ourselves.  We can choose wholeness instead of feeling lost.  We can chose to feel empowered instead of going down into a dark tunnel of sadness.  If we are experiencing a difficult change, and no one is supporting us through it, we have a major opening to reconnect with ourselves.  No one outside of us can heal us.  They can make things feel better, but it is truly up to you to center yourself and find peace within, instead of trying to fill another void.

Don’t we owe it to ourselves to do what’s best for ourselves?  No matter how uncomfortable it can be, having the courage to follow the path of your soul is going to take you to places you couldn’t have dreamed about while you were busy trying to remain comfortable.  It can feel raw, and emotions may bounce all around in your body, but eventually you’ll find yourself surrounded in magic, and you’ll thank yourself for not buying into the lie of fear.

You can’t reach your full potential if you’re constantly trying to fill the void of your ego.  Your ego is filled with fear, and limitation.  Your soul has no fear, and it is limitless.  Choose the path that supports a purpose-filled life, instead of the road that stifles your growth.  You are braver than you know.  You are greater than you can even imagine.  You are here to go the distance, so don’t cave into your fear.  KNOW YOURSELF, and understand that this entire journey is a soul journey.  Everything physical shall pass.  Your pain will pass.  You discomfort will pass.  What you don’t want to pass you by, is the rest of your life, which can be rich with joy if you simply make the choice that aligns with who you truly are.



Letting Go of Everything (and Everyone) That Doesn’t Add Up to Your Vision for Your Life

Letting Go

The last few Tarot Reading sessions I’ve done, there has been a common and specific message for almost everyone who has sat across from me.  The message is a little bit scary to hear, even for me, but it is very rich and clear.  Most people who ask me for a reading want to know “which choice to make,” whether it has to do with a job, a potential partner, or purchasing or selling a home… people need guidance when making choices.  Each time I do these types of readings, the spread shows me exactly what energy supports the person asking the question.  It is often emotional sustenance they need, but sometimes it is financial.  Quite often, the cards remind us to remain on the path of our soul’s calling, especially if we are clear on what that calling is, but even if you are not clear, you can know what is right for you by how your sacral chakra area feels when you ask yourself what choice is the best choice.

If you feel nothing in your sacral area when you think about taking one path (even if the path is logically the best path), and you feel something flutter deep inside of you when you think about another path (even if that path doesn’t make the best sense, logically), then the right choice is to take the path that invokes the flutter.  Part of my job as a Tarot Reader is to encourage people to follow their joy, but it is a thousand times “easier” for people (including me) to take the logical route.  (You know – the route that makes more sense when it comes to stability.)  I don’t often take my own advice when it comes to my life choices, although I’ve come a long way, and I do follow the inner flutter more often than not these days.

But then there are the choices before us where we have absolutely no clarity because our emotions are too heavily invested in a person, place, or thing although it is probably not the best choice for us.  It is so important that we go deep inside of our being to know what is right and what is wrong for us, because emotions will lead us toward something out of sentiment (instead of out of what’s right for us), and our minds will lead us toward whatever makes logical sense (instead of what’s best for us).  It’s that deep down feeling from where we should navigate when it comes to following the “right” path in our lives.  Sometimes it’s subtle though, which is why asking the Tarot for guidance could be a good way to receive clarity.

The message that has been coming across in the cards is that we need to let go of everything (and everyone) that does not add up to our life’s purpose.  What is my life’s purpose, you may ask.  If you don’t know, then it’s important that you create a vision for your life, so that making decisions becomes easier.  Whatever doesn’t add up to that vision (sorry to put it so bluntly) – needs to go!  (SEE YA!)  Now, there are people in our lives who don’t exactly add up to our life’s vision, who we may not be able to relinquish, but I think of those people as quiet teachers in my life who bring up emotions within me for the soul purpose of helping me to heal.  When those people are around me, I need to pay attention to what goes on for me emotionally so that I can move through my “stuff” that doesn’t add up to my life’s purpose.

Almost everyone I encounter has the potential to play a role in helping me move through emotional baggage, so when I say to rid yourself of people, I’m specifically talking about friends, partners, and family members who are either abusive, or negative.  Negativity will bring us down, so it’s important to stay away from that kind of energy.  We can encourage negative people toward positive thinking, but if they are comfortable in their negativity, then it’s impossible to help them see the light, so sometimes we need to let go of our desire to “help” them.  It is not in our best interest to try and change anyone.  People have to desire change in the first place.  Acceptance of who they are is the path of least resistance for us.

Ah-ha!  Take the path of least resistance.  What does that even mean?  It means that you should (again) listen to your inner being for resistance that you feel (hesitation) when you are making decisions.  If you feel resistance (and I’m not talking about fear here), it’s a good indication that the person, place, or thing is probably not right for you.  Fear, on the other hand, can often (more often than not) be an arrow pointing you in the right direction.  I learned a long time ago, that the mountains we need to move in our lives, are simply fear and doubt.  If we move those two hideous mountains, the world opens up for us like nothing we could have even begun to imagine.

To put it simply – when making decisions, we need to relinquish whatever (or whomever) doesn’t add up to our well-being.  That’s the bottom line.  It’s very simple, but not easy.  I challenge you this week to begin letting go of people, places, and things that do not add up to who you truly are.  (And I’ll do the same – I promise!)






The Road to Personal Freedom Begins with Discipline


For the first time in over a year (perhaps even two years) I woke up feeling the spaciousness around me.  There was a refreshing (and much desired) sense of liberation.  I spent the weekend unpacking boxes in my new home, and organizing drawers and containers that have been sitting like forgotten storage month after month.  I can’t even begin to tell you how heavy my life has felt for all of these months.  I never thought I could wade my way through it all, but because we had to downsize, I was forced to go through everything and rid myself of baggage.  There is nothing like opening up clogged spaces to create a channel for a magical flow of gracious energy.  I already feel the magic.  Finally. 

I’ve been beating myself up a little bit since we moved, because of the experience that I created in September, which was supposed to be a community of really dynamic people living together.  I manifested a home with the intention to exchange support and love between the community.  By leasing a huge house, and inviting a group of people together, I thought I was doing a service to myself, to my daughter, and to everyone who lived there, but it turned out to be a disaster.  Not only was there an uncomfortable energetic resistance between all of the residents, but the house itself was falling apart.  In winter, it flooded.  In spring, we experienced mold and an infestation of termites and spiders.  The landlords were beyond awful.  By the time we decided to leave, I was at my wits end emotionally, and mentally.  The energy in the space I created was so chaotic and confusing that I have been asking myself what is wrong with me that I created such a mess?  But now it’s all beginning to make sense.  There is a bigger picture here that is clearly unfolding.

What I’ve always ultimately wanted, is freedom.  In every sense of the word.  Freedom in my body.  Freedom in my mind, in my heart, and in my daily experiences.  Financial freedom sounds like heaven.  I’ve been on the path to ultimate freedom since I was a child trying to find my place in the world, but when you are on a path to freedom, the path is oddly rigorous.  You see, we have to work through our own baggage, our belief systems, our internal messes, along with our rigid conditioning in order to open up enough space within ourselves to experience freedom.  Sometimes we think we’re creating freedom, but we’re actually creating a bigger manifestation of our inner mess that we need to wade through in order to get to that freedom.  Sometimes we don’t even know we have an inner mess to wade through, but physical reality reflects it so that we can face it, otherwise, we may continue being blind to it.

I can’t exactly identify all of my internal messes, but I saw it in physical reality.  I faced it in my housemate’s energy.  I felt my emotions running rapid in that house as I dealt with other people’s personal dramas.  Being a sensitive (empathic) person that I am, I nearly went into a state of depression by taking on other people’s stuff.  I didn’t even know how to create a space for myself in the midst of it all to remove myself from their energy, because I had no idea I was even taking it on until I moved and realized it in hindsight.  Whew.  What a whirlwind.  There were times when I felt so confused that I couldn’t even manifest anything except for more drama.

So here I am, back in my own space with my daughter, no longer taking on other people’s weird energies or experiencing the heaviness of other people’s thoughts.  I feel so much that if I am around too many people, I take on their heaviness.  I felt anchored down into mud while I lived in that home.  I feel everything deeply, and I’m still learning how to manage through my own emotions and thoughts, let alone other people’s emotions and thoughts.

Now that I’ve created a sacred space for myself again, I understand that I needed to go through that mess.  You see, I was forced to face some of my darkest emotions that I probably would have never faced if I wasn’t forced to face them.  Who wants to drudge down into the depths of their shadows, voluntarily?  Most of us do the boot-scoot-boogie around those dark corners of ourselves, but I was right up in it.  Yuck… (and thank Goddess for that opportunity to see myself, and to face my dark corners).

So here I am with a clear space physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Here I am with a new sense of freedom that I probably wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t of painfully drudged through some of my heaviest emotions, and if I wouldn’t have opened all those boxes and containers that have been piled up in my places of residents for months on end.  But it took an experience of dreadful discipline.  I was in a dense space for months, from which I could not run.  I was surrounded by people from whom I couldn’t hide.  It was all right up in my grill, and I faced it head-on because I didn’t have a choice, yet I see now how my soul created it because it so desperately wanted me to get to a place of ultimate liberation from those obscure, internal messes that have been energetically choking me.

I have pulled the Hierophant two days in a row, for two different questions.  The card screams out “discipline.”  Rigorous discipline if we want ultimate freedom.  Discipline with facing myself.  Discipline in my daily routine.  Discipline in having a vision for my life and removing everything and everyone who does not add up to that vision.  I can have good intentions all day long, but if I’m not working toward a goal, I’m going to have experiences that feel random and chaotic, instead of experiencing synchronicity and flow.  If we want to feel free, we need to be willing to do the work to get there.  We can’t avoid the messes.  We can’t circumvent the internal chaos that often drives our lives.  We need to be open to learning the hard lessons, and most of all, we need to become humble and surrender to that which we cannot control.  At one point in that house, I threw my arms up, lost all sense of pride, and let go of outcome.  And here I am, with an amazing sense of freedom.

The Sun

Freedom is letting go of outcome.  Freedom is being honest with ourselves, and with others.  Freedom is knowing that we aren’t free until we face those inner demons that hold us captive from experiencing our own life.



Sharing the LOVE Through Tarot

Tarot Love

Yesterday was a huge success at the Fairfax Festival.  Today is going to be another huge success because people are drawn to the table, and I am drawn to offering wisdom through the lens of the cards.  People of all ages expressed excitement when they saw my booth, which was invigorating.  At times, I had a line.  For seven hours, I didn’t have any time for reading a book like I thought I would.

I have to admit though, a lot of fear came up for me about doing the festival.  Especially yesterday after setting up.  My fear told me that I wouldn’t have anyone come through my tent.  It told me that I would fail.  It told me to pack up and leave right then and there.  I sat there in my chair listening to my fear, knowing that it was a lie.  I know how much my mind lies to me.  It’s literally my enemy.

I showed up for my life yesterday.  I went beyond my comfort zone and followed the inner urge to put myself out there.  I even received the gift of a free tent from a friend who no longer uses it.  I couldn’t believe that.  I had no excuses not to do the festival, except for my own laziness and fear, which I didn’t buy into this time.  I trusted in the calling of my soul, and I followed through.  What I received in return was a steady stream of beautiful souls asking me for guidance regarding their lives.  One man left my table saying, “Keep doing what you’re doing.”  I don’t recall anyone leaving without a smile, or tears.  I had a few tears too, when my interpretation of the cards confirmed what my Querents already knew.

This was my first festival, and definitely not my last.  There is nothing like sitting outside under the sun, watching children play, and observing people enjoying themselves.  The feeling of community was incredibly powerful.  I can’t believe I spend half of my life in a windowless office when I could be outside soaking up the love.  “It’s not practical,” my mind tells me.  “You can’t make a living reading Tarot cards.”

You wanna bet?

While I’m busy proving my mind wrong, I’m also connecting with human beings on a profound level.  How often do you meet someone who immediately tells you all of their current life circumstances, while expressing their real emotions?  How many times do you get to see someone reveal their truth past the thick layers of their persona?  How common is it that we have the opportunity to relate to someone we just met in such a dynamic way that we both cry tears of gratitude for the connection?  Yesterday, I had two people approach my table who were going through a tremendous amount of grief.  I was able to relate to them because I recently lost my mother.  Another person’s card reading was so brilliant that I had to take a photo of his spread.

“I have never seen anything like this,” I admitted.  “You must be on an incredible spiritual journey.”

“Have you ever heard of the Hero’s Journey?”  He questioned me.

“Yes, I’ve written an adult fable about it,” I smiled.  “I know all about the Hero’s Journey.”

He went on to tell me that his entire business was based around The Hero’s Journey.  I can’t wait to look it up.  The man was beaming with light and love for life.  The cards reflected this like nothing I have ever seen.

Yesterday I had some experiences that I haven’t had before while reading people’s cards.  I received messages from Spirit.  I relayed the messages, as if water poured from my lips.  There was no fear at all while I allowed Spirit to flow through me.  Certain words came to mind, and I did not hold back in relaying them.  I felt incredible urges in my gut to share the LOVE from Spirit to these beautiful souls.  I’m becoming a channel for LOVE.  It’s amazing how much Spirit wants us to know that she’s paying attention, and that she wants us to thrive, and to tap into her, and to follow her magical guidance.  I have never seen so many faces light up in such a short amount of time.  I.  AM.  BLESSED.  Beyond words.

Today is day two of the festival, and I’m excited to finish this article, get dressed in my finest Tarot reading attire, and to show up for my life again.  I’m excited to receive messages from Spirit, and to relay those messages to my fellow community members.  Reading Tarot has been surprisingly nurturing for me.  I never thought I would actually run with it, but I am, and it’s leading the way…

Like following a rainbow to a magnificent pot of gold.

Namaste (and come see me today if you’re around the area),


Here is a link to my Hero’s Journey Fable, ‘In Lieu of a Dragon Tale’ –


Children are Drawn to the Tarot

Tarot and Children

What is it about the Tarot that draws children right to my table?  I have had this experience since I began doing farmer’s markets a couple of months ago.  Every time I set up my table at a market, I have at least one child who wants a reading, and several others who are drawn to the cards.

“What is this?”  They ask with bright eyes and curiosity about the unknown, which doesn’t frighten them.

“It’s called the Tarot,” I reply with a smile.  “Do you want to pick a few cards, and I’ll tell you what they mean?”

The children become so excited when I offer them a reading, and they absorb any information I give them about the cards they chose.  I’ve never seen more inquiring eyes and broader smiles than when I sit down with a child to read their Tarot.  Usually, they come back with a parent, and talk their mom or dad into having a reading.

Children are my favorite Querents because they aren’t only getting information about themselves – they’re actually interested in learning what the pictures on the cards represent.  Usually people who come to my table are drawn by their curiosity, or because they need to talk to someone about what’s going on in their lives, but children are of a different nature.  They naturally listen to their intuition, and they have a hunger for learning.  Every time a child sits across from me and listens so intently to each word I say, I have a difficult time holding back tears.  There is such a beautiful energy exchange when it comes to having a one-on-one with a child.  They’re incredibly open, and their heart touches mine without any effort on my part.  I feel the expansion of my heart every time I talk to a child.  They’re not guarded, fearful, or critical.  They have a faith in life that we forget as adults.   This is how to be.  This is a person with a clear subconscious, who acts on their instinct, and isn’t blinded or restricted by fear.

Last night I had an ongoing flow of people coming to my table.  It was amazing, especially because I had spent some time envisioning a stream of people approaching my table.  There wasn’t five minutes without a person sitting down with me, including a couple of children.  One child was a young teenager.  He was with his mom, and very excited about receiving a reading.  It was his idea to have a reading.  He didn’t have a question to ask, so I let his cards lead the way.  It was a difficult reading because he pulled the Tower, which means that something in his life will be shaken up, or is being shaken up.  I didn’t like having to offer that information to him, and he couldn’t really relate to it.  I was soft about how I explained what the cards meant, and I also let him know that whatever he was about to experience, was going to set him on the right path of his life.  The King of Wands was there to give him clear direction, and I encouraged him to follow his passion.  He enjoyed the reading, although I felt a little apprehensive about it.

The Tower

After he left, his mom sat down to have a reading.  As I lay out her Celtic Cross spread, she shared with me some information that included her son.  He had no idea what she was facing at home, and what was happening in his family unit.  His cards began making much more sense to me.  There was a disconnection in their family, of which her son had no idea.  Her cards reflected the issue at hand, and also offered her clarity on her role during this time, and how powerful she truly was, especially if she followed her soul’s lead instead of succumbing to things that no longer served her well-being.

We talked for a short time afterward.  When she left, I wished I had read her cards and talked to her first before reading her son’s, but then again – the cards never lie, even if I’m not completely clear on the circumstances of their lives.  I explained to the boy that something would shake up his world, but it was not the end of the world for him.  I also left him with an understanding that it was up to him to really go after what he was drawn toward in his life, and to not allow anything to get in his way, including “friends” who didn’t have his best interest in mind.  His reading was very clear, but difficult to offer.  The interesting thing was, it didn’t frighten him at all.  He was incredibly receptive, and grateful for the information.

Usually when anyone sits down with me, they open up about things they would never talk about in a casual situation.  Children really tap into how they relate to each card.  They openly share how they relate to the archetypes, and they always (always) walk away smiling.  It’s an amazing experience – probably more amazing for me than it is for them.

The thing about the Tarot is that I’m receiving just as much from connecting to other human beings as they are from receiving clarity from me when I read their cards.  It’s an exchange of energy that leaves me feeling invigorated.  Sitting there last night, I knew I was exactly where I am supposed to be.  The information that poured out of me came naturally.  I was in my element.  I left their knowing that I have a responsibility to teach children what the Fool’s Journey means for them, and to connect them to their reality in a way that offers them wisdom and clarity.  All I want to do is to set up a booth on a corner and spend my life connecting with people the way I do when I’m at the farmer’s markets, observing bright, inquisitive eyes, and feeling my heart expanding throughout my being.



Using the Tarot to Choose a Career Path

Ace of Cups

One of the main questions that people ask me when we sit down to read their cards is “What job should I take,” or “which direction should I go on my career path?”  The first time someone asked me this, I had no idea what the cards would reveal, or if they would reveal anything.  Yes, I doubted I would have the perfect answer for my Querent, but in my curiosity, I lay the cards before me, and VOLA!  This person was clearly needing a better income, but he also needed a creative outlet, so I encouraged him to go for the position that supported both his financial needs, while allowing him to be creative.  He had two choices.  The other position was comfortable and safe, but not necessarily cultivating his creativity.  The Tarot gave him clear direction.

About a month ago, I sat down with a man who was upset because his wife chose a job that wasn’t financially abundant.  He was clearly distraught about it.  When I pulled his cards, they revealed that the new job was emotionally fulfilling for his wife, and they also showed that he was in fear about money.  I explained to him that he should be supportive of his wife’s choice, because it was clearly making her happy.  He was also a business owner, so I encouraged him to let go of his fear surrounding money, while honoring his partner’s choice, and the money would come, perhaps through his own business.

Most of the time we think it’s money that we need, when really, we need to choose a career that supports us emotionally, and creatively.  Some of us need to feel a sense of community in our careers.  Others need to feel independent, and enjoy being alone.  Whatever the case, money is rarely the issue.  When we take care of ourselves and focus on our needs, it seems that everything else falls right into place for us, and the money shows up.  We open a channel for abundance to flow toward us.

If you sit down with me to ask what career path you should choose, the cards will reveal what your deepest needs are, and then I’ll send you on your way with a smile, and some clear direction.  That’s what I do!

Come visit me at the Fairfax Community Farmer’s Markets on Wednesday evenings.  Let’s do this!



How Do You Choose a Tarot Deck, and How Long Does it Take to Learn to Read?

The Tarot

So many decks to choose from, and so many archetypes to learn.  How does one even begin?  I get these questions often, and I also wondered the same thing before I took on the challenge of embracing the Tarot.  For me, it was all about how I felt.  I recall the first time my former boyfriend (who taught me to read the Tarot) bought me a deck that he thought I would love.  The art was medieval and oppressive.  I couldn’t even call the artwork beautiful.  The first time I looked at the cards, I felt unhappy about them.  The faces of the characters were too solemn, and each card had the same grave feel.  After a couple of weeks, I finally admitted to him that I wasn’t vibing with the deck, hoping not to hurt his feelings.  He totally understood, and traded me for a deck he thought I would like better.  The art was much more light and uplifting.  I loved the new deck, and he actually resonated more with the medieval deck.  He was impressed with me for being so assertive and intuitive in choosing my cards.

When we begin reading Tarot, we may get a lot of suggestions on which deck is best to use, but no one can tell us which deck is right for us.  It’s a personal choice.  I do suggest learning from a deck that has the traditional seventy-eight cards and archetypes, prior to moving onto a less traditional deck.  I suggest this is because I originally learned from non-traditional decks, and when I did start working with a traditional deck, I had a difficult time changing my relationship with the cards.  It was like rewiring my brain, but it didn’t take long.  Because it was intimidating for me to remember seventy-eight cards, I began with a sixty-card deck, but the seventy-eight card deck was much more intriguing and engaging.  It took me longer to learn, but it was also the challenge that kept my interest.  My relationship with the cards was fueled by curiosity and fascination.  I went all the way with it because I was having entirely too much fun, like exploring a new lover.

I suggest taking your time visiting bookstores and metaphysical shops that sell Tarot cards.  Feel out the different decks of cards.  Take them out of the box, and spend time with the artwork.  If you don’t have time to physically shop, order a few decks online that seem like they would resonate.  Most Tarot Readers own several decks of cards.  I have two decks that resonate with me the most.  One is the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith, and the other is the Wild Unknown, which seems to be gaining popularity.  It’s a very simple, and intuitive deck, but there are different names for the court cards, so I would suggest learning the Wild Unknown after learning a traditional deck.  The most important thing about reading the Tarot, is that you feel extremely comfortable with the cards, to the point that you get excited when you see them.  It truly is like meeting a new person and taking the time and energy to explore them.  We need to be drawn to the cards in order to create a relationship with them.  We need to be interested in them so that we have the patience to learn them.

Depending on how much time you spend with your Tarot cards will determine how long it takes to form a relationship with them.  After three years (give or take) of learning the Tarot, I am still unfolding more information about the cards.  I don’t think it is possible to ever know the cards so well that they stop revealing more information.  Each symbol has depths and layers of language that speaks to the subconscious.  Every archetype has several strong qualities and multiple personalities, and depending on how the cards are placed, there are various interpretations.  According to what the Querent asks, the cards can offer many revelations.

My favorite way to read the Tarot is to observe the spread as if the cards have no individual meaning.  When they are laid out before me, a dynamic story is displayed.  Reading them this way seems to resonate more with my Querents.  It is much more authentic to read the cards by how they are placed than to read them according to their traditional meanings.  And I play around with this depending on who is sitting before me, and depending on how much information they offer me before I do the reading.  Every reading is different according to whom I’m offering information.  It truly is an art of intuition.  The Art of Tarot is about feeling.  If you aren’t much of a feeling-based person, it will be difficult to read people’s cards.

If you are feeling pulled by the Tarot, I invite you to follow your curiosity.  You don’t have to learn Tarot strictly to become a Tarot Reader.  It is a beautiful experience to learn the cards for yourself, and to understand the depths of the human experience through the Art of Tarot.  It’s a magical journey into the unknown, but especially into yourself.  Tarot reading has developed my intuition, built my social confidence, and been an incredible tool for relating to people.  When I sit down to read someone’s Tarot, I’m opening up the channel for more than a shallow conversation.  It has given me wings to soar with my wisdom.  I plan to go the distance with the cards, because that’s where my soul is leading me, but not everyone has to go that far with a deck of Tarot cards.  It’s an entirely personal journey.  Have fun with it, and be lighthearted with yourself around it.  Give yourself plenty of space and time to learn the cards, and don’t compare yourself with other Tarot readers.  It is an art, and with any art, we all have different (and brilliant) expressions.




Day of Resurrection


My dreams have always been vivid, often foretelling, and insightful.  Never have I taken my dreams for granted.  I recall sharing my dreams with my mother at the breakfast table, and eventually writing them down in order to understand the inner workings of my psyche and my emotional body.  Our dreams have the ability to purge our emotions, to quietly heal us, and to give us clarity.  If we take the time to honor our dreams, they can liberate us from the waking life situations that we tend to take so seriously.

Our culture does two things that stifle us spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.  One of them is that we don’t integrate our nighttime dream world into our waking world, and the other is that we don’t prepare for, or celebrate, death.  We tend to ignore both of these vital occurrences which we all have in this human experience.  This is such a shame.  I’m so grateful that my mother (who passed away in 2015) taught me to honor my dreams.  She was also a vivid dreamer.  Later in life, we often called each other whenever we had epic dreams.  She was great at interpreting mine, and vice versa.  I recall one dream I had that directly told me to ask my mom for the meaning.

It’s so interesting that on the dawn of the Day of Resurrection, I had a dream that my mother was alive.  In the dream, I told her all about the experiences we had while she was dying.  Her fifty-seven-year-old body was plagued with Cancer.  Her doctor prescribed Morphine to control her pain.  She was in a lot of pain, and I recall being concerned that her dosage wasn’t right.  I kept on top of her dosages, and told my family that I didn’t think we were giving her enough, but everyone was worried about overdosing her.  Finally, I talked to the Hospice nurse about how much pain she seemed to be in, and they asked how much Morphine we were giving her.  Turns out that we weren’t giving her the correct dosage.  She was supposed to have twice as much.  In the dream, I shared this with my mom, while crying out out to her about how sad the entire experience was for all of us.  After reliving the painful emotions, I woke up.

This is a perfect example of how we naturally purge our pain through the gift of our dreams.  In my waking life, I literally just told my daughter how I have been dwelling on that time when my mom was sick, and how sad I still feel about some of the things we did wrong, even though we were all doing our best to make her transition comfortable and loving.  None of us had any experience with caring for a human being who was dying, but we all offered our best to her.  We made mistakes, and that’s okay.  It’s okay that we didn’t do everything right.  I need to let go of my guilt around her time of passing.  My dream helped me to process my guilt.

I’ve been thinking about my dream all morning.  While driving down the rode, the sun rose before me.  It ignited the mountainesque landscape, and I thanked Great Spirit for my own rebirth.  Years ago, I would have been getting ready for church, celebrating the resurrection of a man named Jesus.  Things have changed for me.  I no longer celebrate something that I wasn’t there to observe for myself, but I do celebrate my own transformation.  I am aware that the story of Christ is a path that I can choose to walk.  It’s a very profound and dramatic example of how we should learn to die to our egos, and to navigate from our spirits while living in this physical reality.  For me, believing in someone else’s experience, did not change my experience.  What transformed my life, was learning to actually walk that narrow path of Christ.  To learn to love unconditionally, and to be kind and compassionate, has been more powerful than simply talking about someone else who did it (two thousand years ago).  Letting go of judgement is the biggest transformation of my life.   Although I am nowhere near getting over my judgement of myself and others, I am aware of my judgement now, and I am able to observe it more so than buying into it.

Over the years, I’ve dropped my need to compete with others, and found myself humble with a knowing that we are all in this together.  I understand that no one is above anyone else.  The hierarchy that we have all bought into, is an illusion of the human mind.  These roles that people play in this reality, are merely a facade.  Because I am so aware of this, I no longer have the need to prove myself to anyone.  My main goal is to become the most authentic version of myself as possible.  Everyday I am chipping away at old behaviors, reprogramming stagnant thought patterns that no longer serve me, and working on navigating from a loving place within myself, rather than buying into everything my mind tells me is true.  Our relentless minds are the Ego.  Ego is the Satan that I once used to fear.  My heart is the Christ that I must surrender to.  This is my understanding, and it is a powerful understanding that has made that biblical story more real to me than “believing” ever did.

Facing my mom in my dream, and sharing my pain with her was incredibly healing. Even if she is no longer with me in my waking life, her energy remains strong with me, and she often appears in my dreams.  Her memory and legacy remains with me, and with everyone who was fortunate enough to know her, and with those who received love from her.  The lessons she taught me will carry on through my children.  Her physical death was her spiritual transcendence.  I saw it all over her while she was dying.  I observed the way her body withered away as her spirit flew like a butterfly from its chrysalis.

The Day of Resurrection means more to me now than it ever has.  It’s a magnificent reminder that everyday I have a choice to either navigate from a limited space within myself, or to surrender into my wholeness, and to BE the LOVE that I truly Am.  We do not need to experience a physical death in order to transcend this limited human body.  We have the ability, right this instant, to die to our ego by not letting it rule our lives, and to recognize ego in other human beings, so that they cannot rule over our lives.  The minute you tell your ego that you’re aware of it, the minute your ego becomes powerless over you.

If you grew up in church like me, you most likely know the scripture, Matthew 16:23, where Jesus told his disciple, Peter, “Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.”

If Satan is actually an entity, why would Jesus call his own disciple this horrible name?  “Satan” is a title.  It is not an entity.  It is another word for the human ego (when it is ruling over someone).  Jesus said the same thing out in the desert while he was being tempted.  His mind (ego) wanted him to give into its fears.  He told it to “Get behind me Satan.”  He understood that he had power over his own fleshly desires.  When the concerns of man are more important to you than the natural laws of the universe, you can bet that you are navigating from your ego.

The ego is the fear in our bodies which believes it is protecting us, yet it is actually limiting us, and essentially destroying us.  For me, this Day of Resurrection is a time of renewal from the darkness of my fears (or winter), into the fruition of my spirit (or spring).  It is about moving out of the limited space of ego into the abundance of our hearts.  Your ego has a limited perspective.  Your heart has a boundless understanding.  If you don’t believe this to be true, ask yourself how you can experience LOVE when you cannot explain it?  Ego needs to prove its existence, while Spirit merely yearns for experience.

“Choose ye this day whom you will serve…”