Using Intuition More than Depending on the Meaning of Each Tarot Card

P of S

After several years of sitting face to face with clients and reading their Tarot, I can say without embarrassment that sometimes the spread of the cards doesn’t make sense.  At first.  Other times, cards are pulled that do not align with the question a client asked, or there are such complicated spreads with various energies reflected at once that it is difficult to make sense of anything.

As a professional, what do I do in these situations?

First off, I don’t panic.  Never has anyone walked away from my table without some knowledge, wisdom or clarity that they didn’t embody before they sat down.

Second, I don’t think about the cards too much.  They will speak to me.  They always do.  Sometimes it is a matter of asking my client to share more about their current situation or asking them if the question they asked is the most pressing thing on their hearts.  If someone asks about their job situation yet the cards reflect a relationship issue, I point them inward and ask if a relationship situation is on the forefront of their heart (above the job).  The answer is always “yes,” and the client generally receives a rush of validation regarding a circumstance that they have tucked away in their mind, believing that other issues are more important.

When a client doesn’t divulge too much information or ask a specific question for guidance, and the cards don’t seem to add up to any particular message, I audibly go over each card and their meaning until something clicks for the person sitting across from me.  At that point, the client opens up and we are able to receive clarity together.

Some people are so blown away by the directness of the cards that they don’t even care for me to finish going through the entire spread.  Whatever I shared with them resonates so deeply that they just want to thank me and pay me while expressing gratitude for the confirmation or validation they needed.  This is rare, but it has happened a handful of times.

Third, there are so many layers to the human experience, in the cards, and with where a person needs guidance that it is more revealing to listen to my intuition about a client than to refer to each card for answers.  After a spread is pulled, I give it a quick glance, form an overall picture, and then open my mouth and allow the reading to flow out of me.  Usually I will say the exact message that the client recently heard or I’ll hit a key word that hits them and validates the reading.

The more readings I do, the more the Tarot reveals its complexity and the more I tap deeper into my intuition.  Lately I have been receiving clarity from the cards in such detail yet it doesn’t exactly add up to the meaning of each card.  A card can offer several different messages according to its placement, and many times the cards speak to me differently than their definition in a book of Tarot meanings.

Don’t get me wrong, when I first learned to read the Tarot, I often referred to the manuals for direction, but over the years the cards have begun to speak to me uniquely.  Take the Page of Swords for example.  This card is usually defined as positive, energetic and someone who is ready to go forth with many ideas, but each time I see this card, I see an immature person who won’t let go of the past.  They are also self-destructive and in heavy situations that need to be weighted out, the Page of Swords will cut off his nose despite his face.

When a client asks about a potential partner, and the Page of Swords appears, I warn them that the person may be immature.  Each time I have offered this information, the client nods their head in total agreement.  “They are immature,” the client might reply.

I’m convinced that when we open ourselves up to our intuition the cards will present different messages according to the client’s circumstances and according to the way a reader sees the cards despite their common meaning.  Many of the cards have multiple meanings anyway, but they may suddenly puncture a message into my heart that I had never received before.  Often I am blown away by this.

The other day, I did a reading for my partner and me.  We were in a situation that neither of us could reason through.  We had decisions to make, but logic wasn’t working.  We needed to come to an important agreement, but there was a gap between our personal needs.  It felt complicated, but something kept telling me, Don’t try to figure it out.  Feel it out instead.  I grabbed my deck of cards and both of us pulled five cards for a ten-card Celtic Cross reading.  An overall view for clarity.

When I first looked at the cards, I was disappointed.  There was a lot going on, and the last card indicated that we would give into immaturity instead of receiving clarity by working with and through our emotions.

A little background here: When we first came together last year, we wanted a “different” kind of relationship that reflected our healing instead of provoking our pain bodies (wounds).  For the most part, we have been honest about our emotions instead of pointing our fingers and projecting our fears onto the other party, but we’ve also gotten lazy and distracted, so we haven’t been doing the work consciously.

In this particular Tarot spread, it was a reminder that we were not only on a spiritual and physical journey together, but we are on an emotional journey.  The cards, though first complicated to make out, clearly stated that we were supposed to be going inward instead of thinking our way through our situation.  Feel your way through…  The outcome card (though disappointing) was indicative that one of us would cut off the flow of the relationship due to fears instead of going inward and weighing everything out.

The next day, a quick and painful decision was made about the relationship, but because I was clear about the message of the reading and clear that we were simply working through emotions, I didn’t buy into the rapid decision.  We weren’t coming to a mutual agreement, so by cutting off the relationship for a few minutes, both of us were able to feel a lot more.  We were both able to weigh out what we truly wanted and to see beyond the superficial layer of emotion.  We both dropped deep into our true feelings and each of us received clarity about our deepest needs.

The end result was not a final decision, but a new fluid perspective.  The entire time we were trying to meet halfway in the middle, we merely needed to shift our perspectives.  It was an enlightening experience and I am grateful that I referred to the cards the night before and didn’t give into my fears of the moment, which swiftly passed.  Even though a quick decision was made, it offered an opportunity to drop down into our true feelings so that we could weigh things out accordingly (instead of thinking so much).

Without a person to interpret the Tarot, it is merely a stack of cards with amazing imagery and symbols.  It takes a person to offer an interpretation.  It also takes another person who presents the need for clarity.  The more I read for people, the less I pay attention to the general meaning of the cards and the more I listen and feel my inner self.  The cards (for me) are a powerful tool which narrows down a complicated circumstance into something much more digestible.

Most people come to my table confused about something or someone, but when I have the cards for guidance, I am able to get to the core of the situation and to see beyond the obvious limitations into the greater reality that reflects the overall well-being of the individual.  The Tarot guides me toward inner truth.  Most people are bogged down by details and decisions and logic, but when I read the Tarot, I remind them to go inward toward what they truly “feel.”

We all have the answers inside of our own being.  When I do a reading, I love directing people back to themselves.  My greatest gift isn’t reading the cards, or giving someone clarity.  My greatest gift is being able to remind my client that the answer was with them all along.



P. S.  For those who have been following my blog, I have been busy writing another book titled, ‘How Spirituality Kicked My (Blankety-Blank) Ass.’  It is now available on Kindle, and paperback will be available in July.  If you enjoy my writing, please check out my Amazon Author Page:




How the Art of Tarot Reconnected Me to My Writing During a Time of Grief

Power of Writing

I never expected my mother to pass away before me. I know that must sound odd, but she was only seventeen years older than me, and much more responsible with her life and less self-destructive.  I’d often imagine us living in a luxurious retirement home together playing gin rummy on plastic food trays and bantering like old bags until one of us kicked off, but I believed that I would leave this world first, for sure.

That was honestly my image.  I could never envision my mom not a part of my life.  She was a dominant energy in my space until the day she left her cancer ridden body, just two months after she was diagnosed.  At the ripe age of forty, I had never once grieved for the loss of a loved one.  That was fortunate, but also devastating to go through my first bout of grief over my young mother.  She was in her late fifties.  She missed out on growing old, and I guess there is something kind of beautiful about her leaving her body before it aged.

The entire two months she was bed-ridden, I wrote a blog called, ‘Ramona’s Journey of Transcendence.’  That is how I channeled my pain, and kept friends and family up to date on her experience.  Everyone loved it.  Many people said it helped them through the difficult time.  That has always been the gift of my writing.  I could never sit down and counsel someone, but I could write them a letter and offer them powerful guidance.

After she passed, I didn’t have a written word in me.  My writing was swallowed by grief.  That was the first time I have ever experienced what they call, “writer’s block,” and it was frustrating, but I knew it was temporary.  I’ve always been a writer.  I knew it would flow again someday, so I placed the laptop aside and started getting into the Tarot.

I had already been using Tarot cards for a couple of years, but I hadn’t placed my heart and soul into it yet.  I knew the cards well, but I played it safe until I felt a tug to step out into the world with my gift to read.  I emailed the local farmer’s markets and asked if they had room for me.  Fortunately, they did, and then I became terrified.  Within a few weeks, I had my own table set up at the Wednesday night markets.  The first few times, it was nerve wracking, but everyone who sat across from me at my table, walked away with a smile on their face.  By summer, I had a canopy donated to me and created a beautiful space at the local festival where I made a killing.

But it wasn’t the money that motivated me.  It was the connection to the people, and the way words flowed through me.  Sometimes I received so much information that I couldn’t keep up with the message channeling through me for my Querents.  It was fascinating.  My heart exploded the way it did whenever I wrote.  Whatever fulfillment I receive from writing, I received equally from the Tarot, and then one day, about a year after my mom’s passing, my writing began flowing again.

It was a beautiful January morning.  I woke up to the sun glowing over the canyon where we lived and stared out the window with gratitude.  “Why did my writing go away for a year?” I asked aloud.  Then the answer was gifted to me right through my gut, “Because we needed to connect your writing voice with your speaking voice.”


This made perfect sense to me.  I had been suffering for years with an inability to articulate the way I wrote.  It was a nightmare.  Whenever I talked with people, unless I was incredibly comfortable with them, I could never summon up words the way I did through my fingers.  This drove me mad.  It was a disability.  I had a desire to write books and to speak to crowds of people, but how could I do that when I drew a blank whenever I started speaking?  But Tarot reading, you see, gave me the ability to sit in front of people and offer wisdom the way I did with writing.  It was such a beautiful connection.  I had no idea that the Tarot and writing could go hand-in-hand, but apparently, they do!

Whenever I have a desire, like wanting to be able to speak the way I write, it summons a journey.  Once the desire is born, the journey begins, and although I wasn’t aware of this particular journey, I intuitively trusted the flow of my life at the time.  When it all came together that morning when the brilliant sun woke me up and filled my heart with gratitude, I felt incredibly blessed to be loved so much by the universe that it took the time to gift me in such a dynamic way.  This is what I live for.

So today I ask myself what my next journey shall be?  What are my lingering desires?  What visions do I have for my life.  What is the next step forward?  I’m going to take a morning hike and feel that out.  I suggest you do the same.  It’s a powerful way to live and to thrive!


Jenn Forbes

Link to Ramona’s Journey of Transcendence on Amazon:




A Silent World Within an Obvious One

Silent World

When people enter my canopy to receive a Tarot reading, they are generally asking for understanding or direction that they are unable to see.  Through images and symbols, the cards reveal an energetic realm of reality beyond the obvious one.  It never ceases to amaze me how children are drawn to my tent.  They are the seers of the quiet reality of imagination, play, spirit, and the richness of presence that we have forgotten as adults because we are so caught up in the dramas of physical reality.  Children navigate with unadulterated intuition, and they feel the energetic difference of my Tarot space, which is why they stop and ask me (or their parents) what I’m doing, and often want a reading.

As Adults, demanded to play the game of physical reality, we lose our insight, which is why connecting with children is a bridge to our soul, and the Tarot is a wonderful tool to reveal that which we cannot see.  The symbols and poetry that derive from a spread is a reminder to feel our way through life and to recall the big picture, or the spiritual picture of our lives, which is the quiet influence beyond our day-to-day happenings.

I just spent a year of my life unfortunately being caught up in the messy dynamics of physical reality.  What brought it on was being slammed into grief after my mother’s passing.  For my entire life, I’ve been aware of the big picture beyond the details of daily dramas, and I’ve generally held a graceful position in messy situations knowing that I can move energy by taking a stance beyond the obvious plights.  For example, in the dynamics of competition and jealousy, I was able to maintain my wholeness, and avoid getting caught up into the web of dramas.  By me knowing who I am, and not feeding into people’s (or my own) insecurities, I have observed messy situations either dissipate quickly, or witnessed them expand into something beautiful, and nonconforming to common outcomes.

Throughout my life I’ve often assisted people in seeing the bigger picture without the use of Tarot cards, and made it my own practice to see beyond the obvious in order to manipulate (which isn’t the best word to use here) heavy energy into something lighter and more fluid, resulting in magical results.  So when my mom passed away, and I felt physical reality clamp down on me like the jaws of a wretched beast, my spiritual knowing went out the window.  Stuck within the confining labyrinth of my mind, I was unable to maintain my ability to see past the obvious.  It’s like a steel wall came between me and my power to reach for the quiet world beyond this one.  I was haunted within the walls of my own limited thinking, and it’s taken me nearly two years to get beyond it.

I can see again now, which is relieving (to say the very least), but I’m still ashamed of the way I handled my life during that heavy time.  It was tormenting to believe in my fears so fiercely that I behaved from that limited space, which was damaging and terribly draining.  I literally lost myself.  To be back in my wholeness again, after such a dreadful hiatus, is very grounding.  Plus there were lessons learned, and old traumas I faced, so it wasn’t an experience of complete failure.  It actually reminded me of my own humanness, which a humble experience of understanding that I’m not beyond this world.  I’m right up in it… and thank Goddess.  I wouldn’t want to be here without contrast and darkness for my own personal growth.  There was a consciousness expansion in all of this – for sure – but it was a terribly tumultuous way to wake up, and I hope to not go through that again, because believing in the realm of physical reality without insight into the spiritual reality is like being in prison.  You’re facing time in your own mind, which is hell.

Even using the Tarot during that time did not assist me into the greater picture of my life.  I could read for other people, but all I saw for myself was whatever was occurring right in front of me.  The cards were one-dimensional.  I believe my own soul must have cut me off from its Source, perhaps to wake me up in a way I’ve never been able to wake up before because I was so hyper-aware of the spiritual realm.  Even in my days of drug and alcohol use, I couldn’t get away from Spirit.  I often had out of body experiences, and rich insights through dreaming that I couldn’t drown out.  Whatever this experience was where I was so disconnected, was a deliberate act on the part of my higher-self.  At least, I feel it was.  Who knows for certain?  But the bottom line is that I took the journey willingly.  I knew I was just going through something, although completely in the dark, and I drudged through it like a prisoner swimming through sewage, moving toward their freedom.

It’s important that we remind ourselves in painful situations, that we are moving forward.  Life continues on even when we feel stagnant.  No matter what I’ve been through, I’ve always come out on the other side of it with rich insight, deeper understanding, and intense emotional and spiritual growth, because I know my life here is a temporary experience where my soul is expanding and expressing itself through the limitations of this reality, so I’m always having that experience.  I know what this place represents for me, but when it feels so real that you can’t claw your way out of your fear, try to relinquish the need to be somewhere else than where you are.  Allow your fear to consume you for a while.  Express it if you have to, like I did, even though it’s not a graceful way to be, because the way out of fear is shining a light on it, rather than buying into it or resisting it.

If you ever get into this confining space that I was in, or if you feel like you have lived your life believing that physical reality is REAL, rather than knowing that it is an illusion, then there are tools for you to bring you back to Spirit.  Children are a bridge.  The Tarot is a beautiful tool.  There are spiritual guides all around us, including nature.  Tap in.  Reach out.  Recall the deeper truths of this dense space that demands you of your time and resources.  This is your life, and your opportunity to wake up to your soul journey while you are here.  Don’t get stuck in the dramas of physical reality, or you’re completely missing out on the magic of your greater existence.







You Can Choose JOY Amid Bad Circumstances (Trust Me)

Let me get right to the point.  If you’re going through a difficult time, and you’re tired of feeling depressed, or fearful, you can shift it into a good experience.  You are the Author of your life, and you can control your thoughts.  Your thoughts directly affect your emotions, so if you’re a mindful person who has done a lot of work with meditation, or through learning to create your reality by how you think, this should be easy enough for you.  If you’re someone who has no clue about any of these applications, then I suggest beginning with the book that changed the entire course of my life.  ‘The Power of NOW,’ by Eckhardt Tolle.  Just go get it.  Read it.  Soak it up.

In 2007, after a devastating break up, I was desperately trying to find my way.  I was also a former Christian still trying to make sense of the Bible while applying the texts and lessons to my life.  ‘The Power of NOW’ sent me to my knees.  EVERYTHING I ever read in the Bible begin making sense in a way that I no longer felt disconnected from the teachings.  I began living them.  The words in the book simplified the teachings of Christ, and I have not been the same since.

Power of NOw

If you’re a friend of mine, I have a copy you can borrow, but I suggest getting your own copy to have on hand when you need a reminder.  I’m not getting paid to promote this book.  It literally saved my life.

With that said, here are my suggestions for moving through a difficult situation.  First and foremost, you need to feel everything you’re feeling.  Forget about everything you need to do, and take at least an hour, and sit with the hellish emotions.  Welcome them in.  Invite them into your experience like they are a guest in your home for a time.  Let any anger or sadness know that they are temporary guests, but for now… they are welcome to hang out.  Go through the pain.  Let it suffocate you.  Find gratitude around the fact that you can actually feel.  Feeling is INCREDIBLE.  It means your ALIVE.  If it’s anger you’re dealing with, even better.  Let the beast maul your being for as long as it needs to.  If it comes in waves – great.  Let it arise, and allow it to fall.  This is KEY if you’re going to get through anything emotional.

We tend to distract ourselves, drown out our emotions, or to ignore them while going through the motions of our lives.  The problem with this, is that you will never heal if you don’t allow yourself to FEEL.  You will continue attracting situations that bring up the same emotions until you actually experience your emotional body.  This is completely backwards from what we’ve been taught, but it is the truth.  Once you give attention to what is going on inside of you, physical reality will literally shift to reflect your healing.  I swear to Goddess.  It is the weirdest sh*t if you have never had this experience.  This life experience is an inside journey, not an outside journey.  The outside reflects our insides.  Ever wonder why you keep attracting the same kind of people into your life?  It’s because you haven’t taken the time to move through the emotions that these people evoke.  When people bring up emotions like anger, frustration, jealousy, etc., they are your cosmic mirror reflecting what you need to see in yourself in order for you to heal and become whole again.

Do not get this confused with toxic human beings who bring up negative emotions.  That is a whole different animal.  I suggest not being around toxic people at all.  They will suck your energy and send you on a downward spiral emotionally, and this doesn’t necessarily mean that you have toxicity inside of yourself to work on.  So, please don’t be confused about this.  Toxic people need to GO!  But if you seem to attract toxic people, then it is a good indication that you may be navigating from a victim space, instead of operating as a victor along your life path, so that’s something to be aware of as well.

Ok, so you took the time to sit with your emotions, and you may have had an experience where you feel an alchemical shift inside of your body.  For example – one time I sat with my rage for about three days straight, and on the third day, it alchemized inside of my gut into joy.  This is because emotions are like a color spectrum.  Joy and anger are two sides of the same coin.  If you sit with your emotions long enough, they will shift, or they will get tired of you shining a light on them, and they will eventually move through you until there is an open space of love and joy.  From darkness, to light.  

Once you feel like you’ve done the work with your emotional body, it’s time to work on your thoughts.  Pay attention to your thoughts without judgement, like you’re watching a film from a distance.  Don’t buy into them.  Especially don’t buy into your fear.  Let all the thoughts pass like a moving train.  Even if they recycle (which they will) – just keep allowing them to pass, while you move about your day doing whatever you need to do.  If you have time to nurture yourself, I highly suggest doing that.  Eat healthy, exercise, and spend time with friends and family who are uplifting.  If you work full time, you can do this practice at your desk.  You can also sit with your emotions at work.  Take a walk if you can.  Take a long walk in nature, and reconnect to the world around you.  The worst thing we can do when we’re going through a difficult time, is to isolate ourselves.  I used to do that, and I no longer do it because it just brings on more depression.  Being alone in nature can be extremely healing.  Or maybe you enjoy shopping more than you enjoy nature.  Whatever helps you feel connected.

Finally, you need to have a vision for where you want your life to be, no matter how bad things are right now.  You need to see yourself at your highest potential.  You need to imagine yourself surrounded by people who are healthy, loving, fun, and on the path of self-awareness.  If you have goals, it’s time to visualize yourself meeting those goals.  Write down where you want to be, what you long to have, and the kind of partner who would enhance your life experience.  Everything that makes you feel excited inside, is where you want to place your attention now.  This is so important for moving from depression into joy.  Be like a child and picture everything that makes you happy without any doubt, or without allowing negative thoughts to distort your vision.  Don’t be afraid to shoot for the stars.  Whatever makes you feel incredibly happy, is GOOD.  Just go there and keep going to that space until you feel like you shifted from a bad situation, into JOY.  NOTE: It is important to carry gratitude with you at all times.  Gratitude is one of the highest vibrations we can embody.  Sometimes we focus on what we lack, instead of being grateful for all that we have.  We need to remember to be grateful.  The universe gives us more of what we focus on, so if you focus on lack… guess what?

Finally – now it’s time to move in the direction of your goals and dreams.  Make it happen by letting go of everything that doesn’t add up to where you want to be.  You don’t need to let go of everything over night, but make small shifts everyday.  Take time daily to work toward your life goals.  Don’t stop having that vision for your life.  Keeping that vision in mind, will shift your attitude so quickly, even if you don’t see yourself getting there for a long time.  If you can’t physically make things happen for yourself yet, keep writing them down, create a vision board, clear your thoughts to make room for that vision, and speak in the NOW, as if you are already living that life.  You can manifest anything when you already know you have it.

Another side note:  I have a tendency to believe that I am supposed to dwell in the emotions caused by my bad decisions because it is irresponsible not to, and I have an old belief that if I don’t think about the bad things that could happen, I’m being irresponsible.  Bullshit.  Don’t buy into that.  That’s old paradigm thinking.  Let that go.  There are no rules.  We are the Authors of our life experience.  You don’t “deserve” to suffer.  At all.  (Unless you’re a really awful person who hurts other people, or animals.  In that case – suffer away, sucker.)

I’m going through a difficult situation now.  It’s been over a week.  I was so uncomfortable that I wanted out of my skin, but I decided to write a poem about my feelings instead.  Afterward, I cried, and then the rest of the day, I felt much lighter.  Channeling our pain through art is another way to move through it quickly.  The next day, I sat with my sorrow, and allowed it to consume me.  The third day, I reached out to friends – and friends just happened to reach out to me without even knowing what was going on with me.  I don’t know how it happens, but when we consciously choose healing over suffering, the universe opens up for us and gives us everything we need to heal.

Trust in the flow of your life.  Your body and soul (just like nature) is constantly in a state of re-balancing itself.  It’s up to you to become aware of it, and to flow with it, instead of against it.




The Honor of Being YOU, and to What Do You Owe Your Life

High Priestess

Sometimes we need to make the hard choices in order to live in alignment with our soul.  The choices can be terribly painful to make.  They can include being uncomfortable for a time, but to what do I owe the honor of my life?  Do I live my life to make other people happy, or do I live my life in accordance with who I truly am?  People can make it nearly impossible for us to let go of something that makes them feel secure.  They are so fearful for their impending experience of discomfort, that they’ll do everything they can to persuade you to remain in a situation that doesn’t serve you in any way.  It could be any circumstance – a boss that won’t allow you to move on.  A friend who doesn’t want you to move away.  A partner who doesn’t want to break up.  A spouse who doesn’t want you to take on more activities.  Whatever the case, people in our lives will often manipulate us to remain in situations that don’t serve us, simply because they are terrified of change.  How incredibly selfish.  We should identify this type of behavior in people, and decide not to buy into it.

Change can be difficult, but it can also be a grand opportunity to shift into our highest and best purpose.  I have made difficult changes throughout my life – some of them by choice, and some of them because the universe tossed me out of the plane just to remind me that a parachute awaits my free-fall.  There have been changes I made that were so hard, I wept for months afterward, wishing I didn’t have to make the choice, while knowing deep inside that it was the best thing for all parties involved.  The end result is always the same – MAGIC.  Although it may take a while to get there.  Remain on the path.  Don’t give up.  Trust in your life.

Some people don’t know what’s best for them, but we should know what’s best for us, and we should live accordingly.  It’s not easy to follow the path of the soul.  It can be lonely, devastating, and full of blind spots.  Most of the time – when it’s devastating – it’s because I didn’t listen to the voice of my soul to begin with, so I went ahead and made a choice that didn’t serve me from the get go.  My ego took over for a time, and then (at some point) I woke up and realized I was in a world of chaos because I wasn’t paying attention.  I can remain in a situation, and be comfortable, but also unsatisfied, or I can make the hard choice to let go, and go through a little bit of hell just to open myself back up to opportunity.  Usually those circumstances are full of learning experiences, and I take it for all it’s worth, but the consequences of not following the guidance of my soul are usually the most painful.  You would think I should have learned by now, but subconscious wounds have a way of dragging us into less than ideal situations.  It’s okay.  I practice compassion for myself.  I visualize the little girl who was once neglected, scoop her up in my arms, and offer her love that she didn’t receive when she really needed it.  That’s called, “soul healing.”  Sometimes we need to piece together the parts of ourselves that got left behind from trauma, and reconnect.  We can do this through our dreaming, or in meditation.  We can do it consciously when we find ourselves making bad decisions just to fill a void, which is usually caused from a past trauma.

When we don’t have closure in a situation, our minds want to go crazy, but we can choose to see this as an opportunity to do some serious inner work.  We can go inward and nurture ourselves, practice compassion, while identifying where we lost touch with ourselves.  We can choose wholeness instead of feeling lost.  We can chose to feel empowered instead of going down into a dark tunnel of sadness.  If we are experiencing a difficult change, and no one is supporting us through it, we have a major opening to reconnect with ourselves.  No one outside of us can heal us.  They can make things feel better, but it is truly up to you to center yourself and find peace within, instead of trying to fill another void.

Don’t we owe it to ourselves to do what’s best for ourselves?  No matter how uncomfortable it can be, having the courage to follow the path of your soul is going to take you to places you couldn’t have dreamed about while you were busy trying to remain comfortable.  It can feel raw, and emotions may bounce all around in your body, but eventually you’ll find yourself surrounded in magic, and you’ll thank yourself for not buying into the lie of fear.

You can’t reach your full potential if you’re constantly trying to fill the void of your ego.  Your ego is filled with fear, and limitation.  Your soul has no fear, and it is limitless.  Choose the path that supports a purpose-filled life, instead of the road that stifles your growth.  You are braver than you know.  You are greater than you can even imagine.  You are here to go the distance, so don’t cave into your fear.  KNOW YOURSELF, and understand that this entire journey is a soul journey.  Everything physical shall pass.  Your pain will pass.  You discomfort will pass.  What you don’t want to pass you by, is the rest of your life, which can be rich with joy if you simply make the choice that aligns with who you truly are.



The Road to Personal Freedom Begins with Discipline


For the first time in over a year (perhaps even two years) I woke up feeling the spaciousness around me.  There was a refreshing (and much desired) sense of liberation.  I spent the weekend unpacking boxes in my new home, and organizing drawers and containers that have been sitting like forgotten storage month after month.  I can’t even begin to tell you how heavy my life has felt for all of these months.  I never thought I could wade my way through it all, but because we had to downsize, I was forced to go through everything and rid myself of baggage.  There is nothing like opening up clogged spaces to create a channel for a magical flow of gracious energy.  I already feel the magic.  Finally. 

I’ve been beating myself up a little bit since we moved, because of the experience that I created in September, which was supposed to be a community of really dynamic people living together.  I manifested a home with the intention to exchange support and love between the community.  By leasing a huge house, and inviting a group of people together, I thought I was doing a service to myself, to my daughter, and to everyone who lived there, but it turned out to be a disaster.  Not only was there an uncomfortable energetic resistance between all of the residents, but the house itself was falling apart.  In winter, it flooded.  In spring, we experienced mold and an infestation of termites and spiders.  The landlords were beyond awful.  By the time we decided to leave, I was at my wits end emotionally, and mentally.  The energy in the space I created was so chaotic and confusing that I have been asking myself what is wrong with me that I created such a mess?  But now it’s all beginning to make sense.  There is a bigger picture here that is clearly unfolding.

What I’ve always ultimately wanted, is freedom.  In every sense of the word.  Freedom in my body.  Freedom in my mind, in my heart, and in my daily experiences.  Financial freedom sounds like heaven.  I’ve been on the path to ultimate freedom since I was a child trying to find my place in the world, but when you are on a path to freedom, the path is oddly rigorous.  You see, we have to work through our own baggage, our belief systems, our internal messes, along with our rigid conditioning in order to open up enough space within ourselves to experience freedom.  Sometimes we think we’re creating freedom, but we’re actually creating a bigger manifestation of our inner mess that we need to wade through in order to get to that freedom.  Sometimes we don’t even know we have an inner mess to wade through, but physical reality reflects it so that we can face it, otherwise, we may continue being blind to it.

I can’t exactly identify all of my internal messes, but I saw it in physical reality.  I faced it in my housemate’s energy.  I felt my emotions running rapid in that house as I dealt with other people’s personal dramas.  Being a sensitive (empathic) person that I am, I nearly went into a state of depression by taking on other people’s stuff.  I didn’t even know how to create a space for myself in the midst of it all to remove myself from their energy, because I had no idea I was even taking it on until I moved and realized it in hindsight.  Whew.  What a whirlwind.  There were times when I felt so confused that I couldn’t even manifest anything except for more drama.

So here I am, back in my own space with my daughter, no longer taking on other people’s weird energies or experiencing the heaviness of other people’s thoughts.  I feel so much that if I am around too many people, I take on their heaviness.  I felt anchored down into mud while I lived in that home.  I feel everything deeply, and I’m still learning how to manage through my own emotions and thoughts, let alone other people’s emotions and thoughts.

Now that I’ve created a sacred space for myself again, I understand that I needed to go through that mess.  You see, I was forced to face some of my darkest emotions that I probably would have never faced if I wasn’t forced to face them.  Who wants to drudge down into the depths of their shadows, voluntarily?  Most of us do the boot-scoot-boogie around those dark corners of ourselves, but I was right up in it.  Yuck… (and thank Goddess for that opportunity to see myself, and to face my dark corners).

So here I am with a clear space physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Here I am with a new sense of freedom that I probably wouldn’t have had if I hadn’t of painfully drudged through some of my heaviest emotions, and if I wouldn’t have opened all those boxes and containers that have been piled up in my places of residents for months on end.  But it took an experience of dreadful discipline.  I was in a dense space for months, from which I could not run.  I was surrounded by people from whom I couldn’t hide.  It was all right up in my grill, and I faced it head-on because I didn’t have a choice, yet I see now how my soul created it because it so desperately wanted me to get to a place of ultimate liberation from those obscure, internal messes that have been energetically choking me.

I have pulled the Hierophant two days in a row, for two different questions.  The card screams out “discipline.”  Rigorous discipline if we want ultimate freedom.  Discipline with facing myself.  Discipline in my daily routine.  Discipline in having a vision for my life and removing everything and everyone who does not add up to that vision.  I can have good intentions all day long, but if I’m not working toward a goal, I’m going to have experiences that feel random and chaotic, instead of experiencing synchronicity and flow.  If we want to feel free, we need to be willing to do the work to get there.  We can’t avoid the messes.  We can’t circumvent the internal chaos that often drives our lives.  We need to be open to learning the hard lessons, and most of all, we need to become humble and surrender to that which we cannot control.  At one point in that house, I threw my arms up, lost all sense of pride, and let go of outcome.  And here I am, with an amazing sense of freedom.

The Sun

Freedom is letting go of outcome.  Freedom is being honest with ourselves, and with others.  Freedom is knowing that we aren’t free until we face those inner demons that hold us captive from experiencing our own life.



Sharing the LOVE Through Tarot

Tarot Love

Yesterday was a huge success at the Fairfax Festival.  Today is going to be another huge success because people are drawn to the table, and I am drawn to offering wisdom through the lens of the cards.  People of all ages expressed excitement when they saw my booth, which was invigorating.  At times, I had a line.  For seven hours, I didn’t have any time for reading a book like I thought I would.

I have to admit though, a lot of fear came up for me about doing the festival.  Especially yesterday after setting up.  My fear told me that I wouldn’t have anyone come through my tent.  It told me that I would fail.  It told me to pack up and leave right then and there.  I sat there in my chair listening to my fear, knowing that it was a lie.  I know how much my mind lies to me.  It’s literally my enemy.

I showed up for my life yesterday.  I went beyond my comfort zone and followed the inner urge to put myself out there.  I even received the gift of a free tent from a friend who no longer uses it.  I couldn’t believe that.  I had no excuses not to do the festival, except for my own laziness and fear, which I didn’t buy into this time.  I trusted in the calling of my soul, and I followed through.  What I received in return was a steady stream of beautiful souls asking me for guidance regarding their lives.  One man left my table saying, “Keep doing what you’re doing.”  I don’t recall anyone leaving without a smile, or tears.  I had a few tears too, when my interpretation of the cards confirmed what my Querents already knew.

This was my first festival, and definitely not my last.  There is nothing like sitting outside under the sun, watching children play, and observing people enjoying themselves.  The feeling of community was incredibly powerful.  I can’t believe I spend half of my life in a windowless office when I could be outside soaking up the love.  “It’s not practical,” my mind tells me.  “You can’t make a living reading Tarot cards.”

You wanna bet?

While I’m busy proving my mind wrong, I’m also connecting with human beings on a profound level.  How often do you meet someone who immediately tells you all of their current life circumstances, while expressing their real emotions?  How many times do you get to see someone reveal their truth past the thick layers of their persona?  How common is it that we have the opportunity to relate to someone we just met in such a dynamic way that we both cry tears of gratitude for the connection?  Yesterday, I had two people approach my table who were going through a tremendous amount of grief.  I was able to relate to them because I recently lost my mother.  Another person’s card reading was so brilliant that I had to take a photo of his spread.

“I have never seen anything like this,” I admitted.  “You must be on an incredible spiritual journey.”

“Have you ever heard of the Hero’s Journey?”  He questioned me.

“Yes, I’ve written an adult fable about it,” I smiled.  “I know all about the Hero’s Journey.”

He went on to tell me that his entire business was based around The Hero’s Journey.  I can’t wait to look it up.  The man was beaming with light and love for life.  The cards reflected this like nothing I have ever seen.

Yesterday I had some experiences that I haven’t had before while reading people’s cards.  I received messages from Spirit.  I relayed the messages, as if water poured from my lips.  There was no fear at all while I allowed Spirit to flow through me.  Certain words came to mind, and I did not hold back in relaying them.  I felt incredible urges in my gut to share the LOVE from Spirit to these beautiful souls.  I’m becoming a channel for LOVE.  It’s amazing how much Spirit wants us to know that she’s paying attention, and that she wants us to thrive, and to tap into her, and to follow her magical guidance.  I have never seen so many faces light up in such a short amount of time.  I.  AM.  BLESSED.  Beyond words.

Today is day two of the festival, and I’m excited to finish this article, get dressed in my finest Tarot reading attire, and to show up for my life again.  I’m excited to receive messages from Spirit, and to relay those messages to my fellow community members.  Reading Tarot has been surprisingly nurturing for me.  I never thought I would actually run with it, but I am, and it’s leading the way…

Like following a rainbow to a magnificent pot of gold.

Namaste (and come see me today if you’re around the area),


Here is a link to my Hero’s Journey Fable, ‘In Lieu of a Dragon Tale’ –


Children are Drawn to the Tarot

Tarot and Children

What is it about the Tarot that draws children right to my table?  I have had this experience since I began doing farmer’s markets a couple of months ago.  Every time I set up my table at a market, I have at least one child who wants a reading, and several others who are drawn to the cards.

“What is this?”  They ask with bright eyes and curiosity about the unknown, which doesn’t frighten them.

“It’s called the Tarot,” I reply with a smile.  “Do you want to pick a few cards, and I’ll tell you what they mean?”

The children become so excited when I offer them a reading, and they absorb any information I give them about the cards they chose.  I’ve never seen more inquiring eyes and broader smiles than when I sit down with a child to read their Tarot.  Usually, they come back with a parent, and talk their mom or dad into having a reading.

Children are my favorite Querents because they aren’t only getting information about themselves – they’re actually interested in learning what the pictures on the cards represent.  Usually people who come to my table are drawn by their curiosity, or because they need to talk to someone about what’s going on in their lives, but children are of a different nature.  They naturally listen to their intuition, and they have a hunger for learning.  Every time a child sits across from me and listens so intently to each word I say, I have a difficult time holding back tears.  There is such a beautiful energy exchange when it comes to having a one-on-one with a child.  They’re incredibly open, and their heart touches mine without any effort on my part.  I feel the expansion of my heart every time I talk to a child.  They’re not guarded, fearful, or critical.  They have a faith in life that we forget as adults.   This is how to be.  This is a person with a clear subconscious, who acts on their instinct, and isn’t blinded or restricted by fear.

Last night I had an ongoing flow of people coming to my table.  It was amazing, especially because I had spent some time envisioning a stream of people approaching my table.  There wasn’t five minutes without a person sitting down with me, including a couple of children.  One child was a young teenager.  He was with his mom, and very excited about receiving a reading.  It was his idea to have a reading.  He didn’t have a question to ask, so I let his cards lead the way.  It was a difficult reading because he pulled the Tower, which means that something in his life will be shaken up, or is being shaken up.  I didn’t like having to offer that information to him, and he couldn’t really relate to it.  I was soft about how I explained what the cards meant, and I also let him know that whatever he was about to experience, was going to set him on the right path of his life.  The King of Wands was there to give him clear direction, and I encouraged him to follow his passion.  He enjoyed the reading, although I felt a little apprehensive about it.

The Tower

After he left, his mom sat down to have a reading.  As I lay out her Celtic Cross spread, she shared with me some information that included her son.  He had no idea what she was facing at home, and what was happening in his family unit.  His cards began making much more sense to me.  There was a disconnection in their family, of which her son had no idea.  Her cards reflected the issue at hand, and also offered her clarity on her role during this time, and how powerful she truly was, especially if she followed her soul’s lead instead of succumbing to things that no longer served her well-being.

We talked for a short time afterward.  When she left, I wished I had read her cards and talked to her first before reading her son’s, but then again – the cards never lie, even if I’m not completely clear on the circumstances of their lives.  I explained to the boy that something would shake up his world, but it was not the end of the world for him.  I also left him with an understanding that it was up to him to really go after what he was drawn toward in his life, and to not allow anything to get in his way, including “friends” who didn’t have his best interest in mind.  His reading was very clear, but difficult to offer.  The interesting thing was, it didn’t frighten him at all.  He was incredibly receptive, and grateful for the information.

Usually when anyone sits down with me, they open up about things they would never talk about in a casual situation.  Children really tap into how they relate to each card.  They openly share how they relate to the archetypes, and they always (always) walk away smiling.  It’s an amazing experience – probably more amazing for me than it is for them.

The thing about the Tarot is that I’m receiving just as much from connecting to other human beings as they are from receiving clarity from me when I read their cards.  It’s an exchange of energy that leaves me feeling invigorated.  Sitting there last night, I knew I was exactly where I am supposed to be.  The information that poured out of me came naturally.  I was in my element.  I left their knowing that I have a responsibility to teach children what the Fool’s Journey means for them, and to connect them to their reality in a way that offers them wisdom and clarity.  All I want to do is to set up a booth on a corner and spend my life connecting with people the way I do when I’m at the farmer’s markets, observing bright, inquisitive eyes, and feeling my heart expanding throughout my being.



Using the Tarot to Choose a Career Path

Ace of Cups

One of the main questions that people ask me when we sit down to read their cards is “What job should I take,” or “which direction should I go on my career path?”  The first time someone asked me this, I had no idea what the cards would reveal, or if they would reveal anything.  Yes, I doubted I would have the perfect answer for my Querent, but in my curiosity, I lay the cards before me, and VOLA!  This person was clearly needing a better income, but he also needed a creative outlet, so I encouraged him to go for the position that supported both his financial needs, while allowing him to be creative.  He had two choices.  The other position was comfortable and safe, but not necessarily cultivating his creativity.  The Tarot gave him clear direction.

About a month ago, I sat down with a man who was upset because his wife chose a job that wasn’t financially abundant.  He was clearly distraught about it.  When I pulled his cards, they revealed that the new job was emotionally fulfilling for his wife, and they also showed that he was in fear about money.  I explained to him that he should be supportive of his wife’s choice, because it was clearly making her happy.  He was also a business owner, so I encouraged him to let go of his fear surrounding money, while honoring his partner’s choice, and the money would come, perhaps through his own business.

Most of the time we think it’s money that we need, when really, we need to choose a career that supports us emotionally, and creatively.  Some of us need to feel a sense of community in our careers.  Others need to feel independent, and enjoy being alone.  Whatever the case, money is rarely the issue.  When we take care of ourselves and focus on our needs, it seems that everything else falls right into place for us, and the money shows up.  We open a channel for abundance to flow toward us.

If you sit down with me to ask what career path you should choose, the cards will reveal what your deepest needs are, and then I’ll send you on your way with a smile, and some clear direction.  That’s what I do!

Come visit me at the Fairfax Community Farmer’s Markets on Wednesday evenings.  Let’s do this!



How Do You Choose a Tarot Deck, and How Long Does it Take to Learn to Read?

The Tarot

So many decks to choose from, and so many archetypes to learn.  How does one even begin?  I get these questions often, and I also wondered the same thing before I took on the challenge of embracing the Tarot.  For me, it was all about how I felt.  I recall the first time my former boyfriend (who taught me to read the Tarot) bought me a deck that he thought I would love.  The art was medieval and oppressive.  I couldn’t even call the artwork beautiful.  The first time I looked at the cards, I felt unhappy about them.  The faces of the characters were too solemn, and each card had the same grave feel.  After a couple of weeks, I finally admitted to him that I wasn’t vibing with the deck, hoping not to hurt his feelings.  He totally understood, and traded me for a deck he thought I would like better.  The art was much more light and uplifting.  I loved the new deck, and he actually resonated more with the medieval deck.  He was impressed with me for being so assertive and intuitive in choosing my cards.

When we begin reading Tarot, we may get a lot of suggestions on which deck is best to use, but no one can tell us which deck is right for us.  It’s a personal choice.  I do suggest learning from a deck that has the traditional seventy-eight cards and archetypes, prior to moving onto a less traditional deck.  I suggest this is because I originally learned from non-traditional decks, and when I did start working with a traditional deck, I had a difficult time changing my relationship with the cards.  It was like rewiring my brain, but it didn’t take long.  Because it was intimidating for me to remember seventy-eight cards, I began with a sixty-card deck, but the seventy-eight card deck was much more intriguing and engaging.  It took me longer to learn, but it was also the challenge that kept my interest.  My relationship with the cards was fueled by curiosity and fascination.  I went all the way with it because I was having entirely too much fun, like exploring a new lover.

I suggest taking your time visiting bookstores and metaphysical shops that sell Tarot cards.  Feel out the different decks of cards.  Take them out of the box, and spend time with the artwork.  If you don’t have time to physically shop, order a few decks online that seem like they would resonate.  Most Tarot Readers own several decks of cards.  I have two decks that resonate with me the most.  One is the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith, and the other is the Wild Unknown, which seems to be gaining popularity.  It’s a very simple, and intuitive deck, but there are different names for the court cards, so I would suggest learning the Wild Unknown after learning a traditional deck.  The most important thing about reading the Tarot, is that you feel extremely comfortable with the cards, to the point that you get excited when you see them.  It truly is like meeting a new person and taking the time and energy to explore them.  We need to be drawn to the cards in order to create a relationship with them.  We need to be interested in them so that we have the patience to learn them.

Depending on how much time you spend with your Tarot cards will determine how long it takes to form a relationship with them.  After three years (give or take) of learning the Tarot, I am still unfolding more information about the cards.  I don’t think it is possible to ever know the cards so well that they stop revealing more information.  Each symbol has depths and layers of language that speaks to the subconscious.  Every archetype has several strong qualities and multiple personalities, and depending on how the cards are placed, there are various interpretations.  According to what the Querent asks, the cards can offer many revelations.

My favorite way to read the Tarot is to observe the spread as if the cards have no individual meaning.  When they are laid out before me, a dynamic story is displayed.  Reading them this way seems to resonate more with my Querents.  It is much more authentic to read the cards by how they are placed than to read them according to their traditional meanings.  And I play around with this depending on who is sitting before me, and depending on how much information they offer me before I do the reading.  Every reading is different according to whom I’m offering information.  It truly is an art of intuition.  The Art of Tarot is about feeling.  If you aren’t much of a feeling-based person, it will be difficult to read people’s cards.

If you are feeling pulled by the Tarot, I invite you to follow your curiosity.  You don’t have to learn Tarot strictly to become a Tarot Reader.  It is a beautiful experience to learn the cards for yourself, and to understand the depths of the human experience through the Art of Tarot.  It’s a magical journey into the unknown, but especially into yourself.  Tarot reading has developed my intuition, built my social confidence, and been an incredible tool for relating to people.  When I sit down to read someone’s Tarot, I’m opening up the channel for more than a shallow conversation.  It has given me wings to soar with my wisdom.  I plan to go the distance with the cards, because that’s where my soul is leading me, but not everyone has to go that far with a deck of Tarot cards.  It’s an entirely personal journey.  Have fun with it, and be lighthearted with yourself around it.  Give yourself plenty of space and time to learn the cards, and don’t compare yourself with other Tarot readers.  It is an art, and with any art, we all have different (and brilliant) expressions.